I Wish Things Were Simple Again

Oh, gosh, you guys. Adulthood had definitely arrived! I think I may hate it. Things aren't amazingly better. Some days are good, and some are bad. It sometimes depends on how often I am on Facebook, because that tends to make me really depressed. I'm not finishing up the semester with you guys, and things are changing so much in my life right now it feel like. Huhhhhhhhhhh. There are some things I want to say on here, but I'd rather not do it just yet. I want to get some stuff talked about one-on-one first before blurting it out on here. For now I'll just say that it's been a really emotional and hurtful ride for me, and one that I think is going to change my life forever.
I love you all so very much. I know I can talk to any of you at any time, and I thank you Cassi for letting me know. It's just not the easiest thing for me, you know? I'll explain in person when I see you all next.
Love,
Gabby

Adulthood Has Arrived

I have started the packing up of my dorm room. It's rather sad. The walls are bleak white and there's an atrocity on my floor. At least my laundry detergent is wafting through the room making it slightly more cheery. Awaiting summer is rather a two-sided dilemma - I'm excited to come home and see you guys, spend time with family, and work (potentially as a barista :D), but yet I'm saddened to not be expanding my knowledge (hey I know, nerd), always being busy, and of course, missing Zach (he'll be spending all summer at a camp where I'll only be able to talk to him for a small bit on Sundays if that). Can you believe that we've spent two years in college already? It's unbelievable! I saw some prom pictures for PHSC and I felt OLD. Me, old? Us, old? Gosh guys what is happening? haha

What are the plans for your summers? Jobs? Trips? Camps? Sleepovers? Nothing? haha

I realized I haven't updated what has been new with me in quite a bit. I am going to be living off campus next year, so 25-30 minutes away. I'll be living in a big 'ole house with one another girl and two big dogs (Great Dane and Chocolate Lab). I'll have a fire pit and a queen sized bed (simple pleasures in life right?). I'm only taking 12 credits hours to save money and be spending only three days a week on campus (meaning I'll need a job to fill the other hours of the week). I'm mostly excited for next year, but a part of me is a bit saddened. I'll really feel the weight of adulthood and responsbility. I'll be paying monthly bills, shopping for my own food, and spending very little times with friends, family, and the man. haha. But, on the bright side, I look forward to bonfires, sleeopvers (finally!! since we're not allowed to in dorms), and making myself expand my cooking portfolio :)

I am going to end here and wish you all you who have them well on your finals! I await seeing all of y'alls faces soon <3 Finish strong! Love you!

Love Spring Update - By Cassi

HI GUYS! 

Well. School has been over for me for exactly a week now! I took my last final last Thursday and it went well. Now is the nailbiting period where I get to wait for my grades to come back in my English classes. I have to kick butt in them so I can get accepted into the English Teaching major so I'm hoping for the best! 

This summer should be interesting. That's all I'm going to say. I know a few of you know what I'm referring to....... There are a few things that I'm really excited about and a few things that I'm pretty worried about as far as this summer goes. It will be interesting, to say the least. 

I think I read all of your messages carefully when we had that huge message chain on updating our lives, but please answer my questions since I may have missed some details. 

Amber, I loved reading your update thing. I'm so excited for you and all the things you're planning for your life. You're a shining star! I'm glad you've found a calling in something you truly loved.

Gabby, I want you to know that you can talk to me whenever you need to, even though we don't talk a lot. I will always being willing to listen. I'm sure any of us would be willing to listen. That's just how we work. You don't have to keep anything inside if you don't want to. 

Jenny! That not having your period thing is really weird. It's been awhile since you posted about that. Has the doctor told you anything significant? I hope things have worked out. That would be super stressful. 

Kera. Dang girl, it sounds like things are working out well for you now, or at least you've been able to be happy about your life at the moment. I'm so happy for you. I love hearing about how things are for you now since you are nothing less than a light and a little ball of sunshine. Thanks for sharing your happiness and insights. 

Moima. Dude. How the heck are you. I have no idea how things are with you besides what others have told me. So I hope you're doing well!

Caitlin. Hi. I love you. I talk to you often enough. :D Um.... Oh! Carpet dots skinny walking often see. Heh heh. Good times. 

Let me tell you all about my latest quest! I am making a PEOPLE BOOK. I am making a book of all the people I love. I'm going to write my favorite things about the people I'm closest to or the people who I have to live with (random roommates ha ha). I am doing this because there were moments over the year when I was seriously annoyed with some people who I really loved. I feel like it would be beneficial for me to be able to go to my people book and read the best things about the people who are getting on my nerves, helping me remember the best in those who may be annoying me a little bit. Basically, it comes down to this huge life realization that I had: people are made of their good parts, not their bad parts. People are not defined by their weaknesses, but their strengths. What people are deep down is their best, not their worst. I find joy and happiness in finding this best in others. That's why I'm really excited about my people book. I also hope it will help me be more patient with that roommate that makes the apartment smell like food from ten days past. :)

That's all for now guys. I love you all. I look forward to the day when we will meet again. Because I have faith that we will! 

<3 Cassi

Hey there...

So, I know I said that I would post more when I was in New York, but I got a little bit distracted. So here I am now! I've been back about a week and a half- but it feels like longer. I hate to say it, but I hate it here now. I've never hated my house as much as I do now.
I'm not going to go into the intricacies of my mental illness with you guys. Truthfully, it upsets me too much. Things are changing, and I am not very good at dealing with them. For one, my friendships are nothing like they used to be. I feel so isolated from the rest of you guys. Knowing that all of you guys are close to entering your junior year of college, but I barely have enough credits to be a sophomore. The place I thought was my dream school is not the place that I am going to graduate from. I have no idea where my life is going.
Anyway. I'll stop with the self-deprication. Because I have some exciting news! Most of you guys probably already know this, but I am going to post it on here anyway. I have a job for the summer-away from Pickerington!!!! I am going to be a camp counselor, living with 8 and 9 year olds, at Camp Pinecliffe, and all-girls summer camp in Harrison, Maine. And I am so excited! I am going to be gone from June 14 to August 13, so I won't be here to see you guys very much. But truth be told, as much as I love you all, I am totally okay with that. I could not be more thrilled!
So, that's it for me. I'll try to keep you all updated on how I am doing.
Love,
Gabby

Babble Babble Babble

ok, so HIII!!!!! i feel like we all got all caught up in our lives and forgot about this wonderful thing that Cassi created, and Gabby's post made me want to update you on my life. However, it is not quite so interesting as NYC ;)

anyway, this is appropriately titled because it is exactly what i plan to do; babble. lol. so first of all, I am pledging a Christian club, Kappa Phi, which runs like a sorority. We had to go to pledge meetings, do tons of interviews (as in around 60), quizzes, a fundraiser, a service project, and some other things. well I AM DONE WITH MY INTERVIEWS!!!! which is so extremely exciting, bc its the most stressful part of pledging. lol. so yeah, we have done the fundraiser, we are doing the service on friday, and we have a national test on tuesday. therefore: I AM ALMOST A SISTER!!!! and i'm totally excited about it :D

in other news . . . i am still with Sam and very happy about it :) not much has changed there . . . i am very much in love and very much enjoying it. lol.

umm . . . i am uber involved. like 11 organizations . . .  its crazy. but good. i have decided that i'm going to drop some things, or at least scale back as i can so i have more time to relax.

on not-so-happy note . . . i have been driving myself crazy. not nearly as serious as what Gabbyrific has been dealing with, but yeah, doubting myself in multiple ways and not feeling like i'm allowed to feel the way i feel and not knowing why people, like Sam, love me, and yeah. i know that i can be confident and happy and its driving me crazy that i can't seem to get back to that. but i am going to my counseling center, and its definitely helping. Along these lines, i haven't had a period in nearly 8 months (since august 18). i know you probably don't want to know that, but i'm sharing anyway (have i ever not been open about these things?) so yeah, its kinda freaking me out, bc its definitely not natural, and i feel like its affecting the whole doubting myself thing bc there's no way that my hormones are normal right now. so yeah, i'm going to see my doctor the day after easter and see what she says. i keep y'all updated. . . cuz its definitely worrying me . . . but yeah.

so . . . what else??? i can't end on that note, its too ugly. lol. umm . . . that's really most of my life right now. lol. oh! i dont have french until next thursday, which means more sleep for me! yay! lol. but anyway, i would LOVE to see an update from everyone, bc from what little bits i see on fb, i have NO IDEA what is going on in everyone's life and this is a sad fact. it must be changed. lol.

ummm . . . so yeah, i'm really excited about Kappa Phi, bc we made our big lists last night. i really want this one girl, Jen Tabar, to be my big. i love her so much. but yeah, i wont find out until i get initiated . . . so yeah.
i think that's it. i apologize for the really long, unnecessary babble time, but yeah, i felt like it ;P

hope all is well or at least getting better!
love always,
Jenny

Yes, I am still alive.

Hello all! I know it's been a very, very long time since I've posted on here- no need to comment on that. Let's just say I've been busy, with my life and myself. I know I've probably never really explained any of what has gone on with me in the past and what is currently going on with me. Well, things haven't been very well in the past. Actually, they've been Hell. Mental illness is something that I would never wish for any of you guys- it is a problem so deeply devastating that I know it has probably affected all of the people I know, including you all. So, I'm sorry. I haven't been the friend I know that I can be to you, because of my depression and other mental and emotional problems. It's sometimes hard for me to talk about and describe my depression, because it upsets me and makes me cry, so I won't do that right now. But if you have anything you want to ask- ANYTHING (I don't have a problem being open with you guys)- please don't hesitate to ask. I could even post something else on here if you want me to, answering any or all of your questions.
Anyway, on to what I am doing now. I'm definitely doing so much better than I was a few months ago. For the past few months, I've pretty much just been sitting at home, doing nothing. But then I started seeing both a psychiatrist and therapist, and was prescribed a different kind of antidepressant (like I said, very open). I'm taking Zoloft now, and it's really helping a lot more that what I was taking. I'm at least doing something now, even if it's just silly craft things. I completely reorganized our kitchen 2 weeks ago, and then cooked a bunch of food for our cousin Nikki's graduation party. I made chicken for burritos, cilantro-lime rice, corn salsa, O'Henry bars, lemon bars, gingersnaps, and carrot cake all from scratch. It was a lot of work, but also a lot of fun and very rewarding for me. I know Nikki really appreciated it because, at 27, she'd never graduated from anything before, and now she's a nurse! You see, she dropped out of high school and got her GED at 15 after she had her daughter Kelsie, because there were some teachers at her school who were not very nice to her. So, anyway, I wanted it to be special for her, and I think it was.
But NOW, I am in New York City! Brooklyn, to be exact, on Flatbush Avenue. I love it here- the subway, the people, everything. I'm having a lot of fun staying with my aunts Mandy and Theresa, and their dog Laveau and their cat Lumpy. (sidenote- her name was Walnut when Mandy first found her in a walnut tree? But now we all call her Lumpy.... weird).So far we've only been to the Lower East Side Tenement Museum, which was really cool. I would have taken pictures for you guys, but no photography was allowed. Basically it's an old apartment building that immigrants lived in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. On the tours, you got to see 4 different apartments- two that they have recreated to look like what it did when the families lived in them, and 2 that they call "The Ruins". In the first one, they've just added in furniture and stuff like that- all of the paint and wallpaper and stuff like that. The Ruins are the coolest though. They look exactly as they did in 1935 when the building was condemned and the owners evicted everyone. It was awesome! 
Yesterday, Mandy took me into Manhattan for her dentist appointment, because there is a 3-floor Barnes and Noble less than a block away from her dentist's office. Needless to say, this was pretty much my own personal heaven. I spent at least an hour in the fiction section, and then sat down and read The Great Gatsby and ate an apple for half an hour. It was awesome. Oh! But the best part of the day was in the morning, when we were waiting on the subway platform. There was a guy, probably around our age, playing violin for tips on the platform. Mandy and I were both still sleepy-this was at 9 am- but we both decided that was the best way to start the day. Mandy even tipped him.
Anyway, we haven't really done much today. We slept in, the walked about a block over to this delicious crepe shop. I had one with Nutella and strawberries-yum! Oh- the food is also awesome. There's always a HUGE selection of places to go.
I'll definitely keep you guys posted on what else we do while I'm here over the next couple of weeks. 
Love you all!
Gabby

Hit Me Up Some Feedback

Today I got to eat with the president of my university in the Presidential Dining room (all wood, fancy napkins, plates with the seal on them). So that was exciting and just neat that no one is above you meaning, even the president of the university wants to sit and talk with you. I enjoy that about college :)

Then secondly, I was asked to be a hair model for a woman from Bible study. She's interviewing for a prestigious hair salon and she has to do a live hair style...so she wants to chop off my hair and dye it. I told her I wasn't sure and not to put me on the top of the list. She wants a long haired model and thought of me first. a) I have virgin hair haha b) She wants to go above the shoulders which makes me nervous. What do you guys think? It's a completely free hairstyle. :/ I don't know. INPUT PLEASE!

Thirdly, I love my criminal law class. Who'd think that studying law would be so fascinating? We dicuss all sorts of issues! It's kinda firing me back up to the idea of being a prosecuting attorney. Why do all the things I want to do involve more schooling (and as we know, more school = poverty ;) haha. You're rich in smarts but poor in all else). haha. Today we talked about homicide yay! There are actual legal forms of homicide - a) abortion b) death penalty and c) war time killing. I never thought of that fact before. And I know all these defenses for crime and how self-defense applies. It's rather fascinating and I am glad I am taking it. At least I understand the laws for which I am meant to uphold.

What are you guys learning in your classes right now? Anything exciting? Intriguing?

I learned something else interesting today (not in class). Apparantly one of my friends was watching a discovery show and they said that men are able to get HPV in their tonsils and mouth....weird huh? Oh and does anyone know how many rights that a man has when his wife / girlfriend is pregnant and he wants the child? Oooh!! Ethics question! What do you guys think about how far a woman's rights goes when it comes to carrying a child? Should she have complete right over her body? I really would love to hear feedback!

Okay I'll bid adieu for now because I fear I might just explode all sorts of mental thought processes when I really should be reading Job and Ecclesiastes for Old Testament.

I love you all and I hope you're having a beautiful time :) I cannot wait til we are reunited again!

LOVE LOVE LOVE DAY

I just wanted to say Happy Valentine's Day to all of you wonderful and amazing girls in my life. You really are the first loves of my life :)

I hope you were showered in love by whomever around you! I hope the rest of the week you continued to be loveddddd :D

Mushy Gushy Girlyness

Okay, it seems just yesterday and also at the same time years ago that I posted Robbie and I broke up. And now here I am to tell you that I am dating my best friend Zachary Graves. haha. I know for all of you this may seem extremely sudden (though I guess SOME of you called it long before I even saw it coming aha! COUGH! AMBER!) I would love to tell you all the story sometime, though this blog won't suffice, so we'll save it for one of our big parties I am guessin'. I will say that I am the happiest I have been in a long time and he has such deep trust and respect for me. He actually wrote me the most loving and awesome letter - one that says who he wants to be in Christ and in our relationship. Needless to say, tears came to my eyes. It has been completely and totally God led and you know me, the planner, well I actually didn't plan a BIT of it and that's why I know it's solely God. I can't wait to introduce him to you all. He's a sweetie :) Something is really different in all of this guys. Okay I'll stop being a mushy gushy girl - it's kinda embarassing. haha.


I just wanted to tell you all. I love you and I miss you and I hope you guys have been blessed and favored this week. LOVE!

Hello. It is Cassidy Gee Williams.

Hey guys... Remember me? I sure haven't forgotten any of you. It's kind of embarrassing how long it has taken me to post something! I don't know who's worse at posting: me or Caitlin. :D Hi Caitlin. 

Since I have been busy and away from the blog for so long, I decided that the best I could do would be to read the last post from everyone. It is exciting to know about all of the things going on in everyone's lives. It seems as though everyone has some pretty exciting goals and I will be keeping up with the blog better to know how everything goes. Kera linked my email with the blog, which means I'll be notified any time someone posts something. I think I'll be able to keep up with it better that way. If you guys want to do that as well, you should tell Kera because she's a blog boss. BAM. 

Music. I'm sure you are all sick of the same songs. Comment on this post and tell me some new songs to add to the mix. I would be more than happy to update the playlist. I know a couple of you have suggested some songs to me, but I forgot what they were because I'm a ninny. Also, if you tell me a primary email of yours, I can allow anyone to add songs to my playlist on playlist.com, and it awesomely connects with the playlist on our blog automatically and updates everything. It's great!!! :) So tell me your email and then you can add any song you ever want for the rest of your life. :D

It's been so long since I've posted, so I'll just note a few big things:

- My love life is nonexistent... :D I used to like this other half-Chinese guy named Neil, but now I think I just want to be friends with him. After all, Wasians have to stick together. 

- School is... going better I guess. I am working on getting my GPA up now so that my application to the English Teaching major will be a little bit more competitive. Right now I'm taking boring Lit theory classes for my major. EW. I honestly don't care what Terry Eagleton considers to be literature. Ha ha. 

- Friends: things are good! I just made a new friend named Shereen; she's half Iranian. It's pretty awesome. I love where I live because it's south of campus where all the poor people live. The poorer the college student, the cooler. :) It's a cheap party up in hur.

***BIG NEWS: I have officially decided that I want to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! I will be leaving hopefully next fall, and I will be gone for 18 months. I will be able to send letters and email my family, but that's all! It's crazy. I am going to be working this summer to earn enough money to go. Unfortunately, I don't know if I'll be able to make it back to Ohio at all. :( I'll keep you guys updated on that though. 

I have some comments for you guys though: 

Gabby: How are you doing? Just in general? 

Jenny: Your dance class sounds so kick butt. Of course I'm jealous. You should make a video of yourself dancing. I would love it. :)

Amber: What is The Ground Beneath Her Feet about? The synopsis? 

Kera: Your goals make me so happy. I have noticed that you've been trying hard to even talk to me more, which I know isn't what you meant by improving your communication, but it is still nice! I like the title you gave yourself as well. 

Caitlin: What the snot. You're in another country and who knows when you'll get this. Tell me your favorite color shirt to wear. Yeah that's all I want to know. 

You guys don't even realize how amazing you are. I'm so lucky to have found friends like you in Ohio. I don't know who else in our whole high school I would have been friends with if you hadn't included me in your little group! I love reading about how you all are doing. 

<3  Cassi